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Sigh*
So, exams are next week. I have been studying my eyes out. But I was talking to my mom about this and I wanted to write about it so, exams don’t matter at this point.
I was talking to my mom, this morning. I told her how I had asked my friends if we wanted to hang out at the mall after exams on Tuesday, to sort of celebrate. And well what I got out of that seemed to stir something in me. So I got 3 people I was asking, there’s apple juice, roro and boo. This year I have gotten real close to them and well I wanted to spend a few hours out at the mall, just chilling. Each of them has a different story. And yet, it’s all the same.
Roro said she had a dentist appointment. When I asked for time, I didn’t get an answer. Maybe she didn’t hear me. Maybe she didn’t want to answer. She couldn’t go. I asked her if her mom was okay with it, with us hanging, she said yeah, her mom doesn’t care much. I worked on my ICP Rube Goldberg project with her and her mom seemed easy going and nice. Her dad, well I didn’t see him but he seemed nice too. Usually when we talk about our families, I know that roro is usually complaining about her siblings. Even when I was at her house she was yelling at them in a language I am not quite familiar with. When I sometimes ask her if her mom knows about a certain thing she usually says no, she won’t get it, even if I explained. I see that she is always, or at least mostly on msn, which means she’s not spending much time with them. Still Roro is better then Boo.
When I asked Boo if she wanted to hang out with me at the mall, she said yes, that her mom would let her, but the mall was a bit of a “not exactly the best place to go”. The next day she said no, that it wasn’t possible. I asked her why and she said her parents probably wouldn’t allow it. All I could think was why didn’t you even ask in the first place. Boo always talks about how close she is, and how cool they are, she and her mom. But then she is hiding so much from her mom. Okay maybe not too much but her mom doesn’t even know she has an msn account. She goes online when their not there, and as soon as they come home, like a person who has committed a crime she shuts the computer and acts like nothing is wrong. I just don’t get it, tell you parents msn is a place where you talk to your friends. Without even trying she has decided that they will not approve. Without even talking to them, without even telling them what msn is and why she would like to use it. Wait, they don’t even now what msn is, so how are they supposed to go against her, like she thinks they will? Well Apple juice is sorta the same.
When I asked Apple Juice she said no, so confidant. When I asked her why she said her dad wasn’t home, and her mom too, out of the city so she couldn’t just go to the mall. I understood her. But then she has the same thing as boo, except her parents know what msn is, but she told them it’s so she can talk to her parents about “school work”. I was like what is wrong with you. She told me they probably wouldn’t let her have an account otherwise.
So I didn’t tell you this for no reason. As I talked to my mom about this she told me something that I wanted to get around too. Parenting happens in two extremes. There is the sort of western side, where parents should not care what their children do and leave their lives to themselves. I’m not saying it’s just the western way, but it seems to be more on that side of the world. It’s not the best way to parent because you don’t talk to your kids at all, their getting themselves into trouble, and they have no idea on what your morals and values are. Besides, family should be close, were people share ideas and talk to each other. Have healthy relationships.
And then there is the other case, where parents give to much of their time trying to please their kids. Or just cut them off from the world so they can connect to family. It’s good, they’re trying, but kids want their space, where they can be with friends, where they have to take care of themselves, because once they leave school they have to take care of themselves. Also, even when kids to get some personal time, they hid it from their parents. Stop talking to them, and it’s isolation. When parents want them to be close, they just drift apart.
There is a fine line between my and my parents. Were in the middle of all of this. My parents are very much involved in my life, and that is because it’s their life too. We are always talking to each other about events here and there. About where we stand as a family, and what we believe in. My mom knows much about me, more then anyone else. She does tell me sometimes to get off the computer and sit with her, and I’m okay with that. We do need to spend some family time, and we do all the time. Where we sit, everyone, and just talk. At the same time, my parents have given me great independence. I can do many things. Hang out at malls, spend time with friends and all. My parents are very much proud of my blog. My dad knows I tweet, msn and all that stuff. I also have a great responsibility, for my actions and around the family. This also keeps me on track, so I stay open and honest with them.
Anyway, I think I started out with a mere story, but I wanted to sorta highlight the problems when it comes to “understanding” and “have a good relationship with your parents”. I mean I’m 16, and I can see this, how come a parents or a child can’t understand it. I mean kids are always talking about how their mad at their parents or parents are talking about how their kids won’t talk to them, why don’t they try to look at it from the other’s perspective. It’s not that hard. I mean if I get it, why can’t they.
Also, I want to thank my parents, for being so great and supportive. How they guide me through life, without going on either extremes or how were so close, closer then many people. Were blessed to be so close and may God keep it that way.
Your daughter and for the rest of you; your fellow blogger
Panda002